The short version: A relationship check-in is a short, regular conversation you schedule on purpose — not a fight, and not a “we need to talk.” The best-known format is RADAR, a five-step agenda from the team at Multiamory. It works for any relationship style, monogamous or not. Pick your topics below, and this tool builds a ready-to-use agenda you can copy or print.
The five steps of RADAR
Walk back through the time since your last check-in — the calendar, the facts — before processing any of it.
Pick the topics you’ll cover today, so nothing important gets skipped and nothing ambushes anyone.
Work through each item — even the ones that are going well. Take turns; listen to understand.
Turn anything unresolved into one small, doable step. Who does what, by when.
End on a good note — appreciations, affection, or something fun. You showed up for each other.
Build your check-in agenda
The RADAR framework was created by Multiamory (Jase Lindgren, Emily Matlack, and Dedeker Winston). This tool is an independent way to build an agenda in their format; the method and credit are theirs.
New to some of the topics on that list — like “other partners”? The Relationship Styles guide maps them out. Curious whether check-ins actually help? The Research Library covers what the science says about communication and relationship quality.
Educational information, not therapy. If a check-in keeps turning into the same hard conversation, 1:1 coaching can help you work through it.